5 Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well? ~John 5:5-6
Recently I had a conversation with my father, with whom I have apparently been angry for a long time now. Although what he was saying to me was out of love and concern, I still did not want to hear it from him. Not only did I not agree, but I also thought he was the last person who should be trying to give me any advice.
"Who does he think he is?", I said when I hung up the phone from our conversation. "Why does he want to try to show love and concern now? It won't make up for him not being there when I needed him most!"
I was so angry at him at the end of that conversation. I called my sister to vent, I called Mom to complain, and I talked a lot to myself after. When I finally calmed down, I talked to the One I should have talked to in the beginning. I prayed, and I asked God to help me not be angry at my daddy and to help me understand why I was so angry in the first place.
When I woke the next morning I was still very bothered by the conversation from the day before. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks; I was still angry with my father for not being there for me when I was growing up. I blamed him for my lack of trust in men. I blamed him for not being the example of the kind of man I deserved. I blamed him for my lack of staying power, not just in relationships but even in other aspects of my life. I blamed my father for everything that I didn't have in my life and all the negative things I had done in my life as if it were all his fault.
I had made the decision over and over to finally forgive my father and not to look at the past when issues between he and I arose in the present. It didn't usually work out that way. Any time I was upset or disappointed in him, I always let the past play a factor in how angry I was with him in the present.
This time though, I had an overwhelming need to let go of being angry. I didn't want to continue harboring this grudge that had been building in my heart slowly over time. I wanted to close the door on that chapter once and for all and move forward.
I was telling one of my girl friends that I was going to post this blog about scars that won't heal. She reminded me about a conversation Jesus had with a man in John 5: 5-8. The man had been brought to a place where people who were sick came in hopes of being healed. Jesus was there on this particular day and took notice of him, realizing that he had been sick for a long time, and had a conversation with him.
"Do you want to be healed?", was the question that Jesus asked the man in need of His healing on that day. The man's initial response to Jesus' question was, "Sir, I cant." The follow up to the first part of his response was an excuse as to why he could not be healed.
I paused after reading that part of this exchange between Jesus and the man. I started thinking about the fact that I, too, was like this man and had been plagued with an illness for a long time. While it may not have been a physical illness, my heart had been suffering from the illnesses of pain and anger combined. I pondered Jesus' question as if He were asking it to me. I had to ask myself that question: Did I want to be healed?
It's funny, we often ask God for healing from situations in life that rocked us to our core, but we refuse to let Him heal us. Of course He has all the power to do so, but He leaves it up to us whether or not we actually receive the healing. For some of us, allowing the healing to take place would take away the crutch we have been using to not move forward in certain areas of our lives. If we allow God to heal us we won't have anymore excuses to fall back on. I wonder, though, what it would look like if we did decide to walk in the healing God gives us through Jesus Christ.
Could it mean a future of hope and expectancy that God will return to us everything we lost? (Deuteronomy 30:3-4) If we let Him, God will restore to us everything we lost, and He will go back as far as He needs to in our lives to do that. Of course, we can never get time back, but when we walk in our healing and restoration God does things suddenly and in such a way that it seems like we never lost that time at all (Joel 2:25-26).
Could it mean that through our healing, God will take what was meant to harm us and use it to prepare us to be a blessing to someone else (Genesis 50:20)? The very things that hurt us so much in life are the very things that God builds our ministry on. No we aren't all called to preach to the masses, but we are all meant to minister to others through our testimonies about the things we have overcome because of who we are called to be in Christ (Romans 8:37).
Could it mean that we walk in a freedom that cannot be explained but only feel deeply in our spirits (2 Corinthians 3:17)? When we let go of things that hold our hearts and minds in captivity there is such a peace that surrounds us which is so tranquil that it is inconceivable; we can't even wrap our minds around it (Philippians 4:7). Who doesn't want to have this kind of peace in their lives? If we produce the faith and find the strength to let go of the grudges we think we have the right to hold on to we can live in this kind of peace.
Today, think about the scars in your life that you are wondering why they won't heal. Ask yourself if they won't heal because you feel the need to hold on to them. I know that the healing of certain wounds in our lives takes time, but should that healing take forever? Should we let those wounds keep us from fully living in our present and dictate the promises of our future? Question whether or not you can see yourself living a different life if you will only let the scars heal. Could that life be better, a life where you are making a difference in the lives of others because you have overcome the scars of your past?
Scars can and will heal when we earnestly give them to God and believe that He will heal us. We have to choose to receive the healing. That choice is totally up to us. Just as Jesus asked the man at The Pool of Bethesda He is asking you: Do you want to be healed? Now, ask yourself that question. I hope you take the time to reflect on all the reasons you have been holding on to those scars and then make the choice to answer that question with a yes. When you give in to that yes, I promise you will see that the scars you thought wouldn't heal are no longer visible, are removed from your heart and have been replaced with only joy and peace.
Some may say that the scars we receive because of life's many battles build character and prove us to be strong, but it can also be said that the scars of life's battles make us cold, bitter, angry and unforgiving. The impact of the scars received lies totally up to the one who was wounded. When the scars of our past won't heal it's not because God won't heal them, it's solely because we won't let Him.
"Who does he think he is?", I said when I hung up the phone from our conversation. "Why does he want to try to show love and concern now? It won't make up for him not being there when I needed him most!"
I was so angry at him at the end of that conversation. I called my sister to vent, I called Mom to complain, and I talked a lot to myself after. When I finally calmed down, I talked to the One I should have talked to in the beginning. I prayed, and I asked God to help me not be angry at my daddy and to help me understand why I was so angry in the first place.
When I woke the next morning I was still very bothered by the conversation from the day before. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks; I was still angry with my father for not being there for me when I was growing up. I blamed him for my lack of trust in men. I blamed him for not being the example of the kind of man I deserved. I blamed him for my lack of staying power, not just in relationships but even in other aspects of my life. I blamed my father for everything that I didn't have in my life and all the negative things I had done in my life as if it were all his fault.
I had made the decision over and over to finally forgive my father and not to look at the past when issues between he and I arose in the present. It didn't usually work out that way. Any time I was upset or disappointed in him, I always let the past play a factor in how angry I was with him in the present.
This time though, I had an overwhelming need to let go of being angry. I didn't want to continue harboring this grudge that had been building in my heart slowly over time. I wanted to close the door on that chapter once and for all and move forward.
I was telling one of my girl friends that I was going to post this blog about scars that won't heal. She reminded me about a conversation Jesus had with a man in John 5: 5-8. The man had been brought to a place where people who were sick came in hopes of being healed. Jesus was there on this particular day and took notice of him, realizing that he had been sick for a long time, and had a conversation with him.
"Do you want to be healed?", was the question that Jesus asked the man in need of His healing on that day. The man's initial response to Jesus' question was, "Sir, I cant." The follow up to the first part of his response was an excuse as to why he could not be healed.
I paused after reading that part of this exchange between Jesus and the man. I started thinking about the fact that I, too, was like this man and had been plagued with an illness for a long time. While it may not have been a physical illness, my heart had been suffering from the illnesses of pain and anger combined. I pondered Jesus' question as if He were asking it to me. I had to ask myself that question: Did I want to be healed?
It's funny, we often ask God for healing from situations in life that rocked us to our core, but we refuse to let Him heal us. Of course He has all the power to do so, but He leaves it up to us whether or not we actually receive the healing. For some of us, allowing the healing to take place would take away the crutch we have been using to not move forward in certain areas of our lives. If we allow God to heal us we won't have anymore excuses to fall back on. I wonder, though, what it would look like if we did decide to walk in the healing God gives us through Jesus Christ.
Could it mean a future of hope and expectancy that God will return to us everything we lost? (Deuteronomy 30:3-4) If we let Him, God will restore to us everything we lost, and He will go back as far as He needs to in our lives to do that. Of course, we can never get time back, but when we walk in our healing and restoration God does things suddenly and in such a way that it seems like we never lost that time at all (Joel 2:25-26).
Could it mean that through our healing, God will take what was meant to harm us and use it to prepare us to be a blessing to someone else (Genesis 50:20)? The very things that hurt us so much in life are the very things that God builds our ministry on. No we aren't all called to preach to the masses, but we are all meant to minister to others through our testimonies about the things we have overcome because of who we are called to be in Christ (Romans 8:37).
Could it mean that we walk in a freedom that cannot be explained but only feel deeply in our spirits (2 Corinthians 3:17)? When we let go of things that hold our hearts and minds in captivity there is such a peace that surrounds us which is so tranquil that it is inconceivable; we can't even wrap our minds around it (Philippians 4:7). Who doesn't want to have this kind of peace in their lives? If we produce the faith and find the strength to let go of the grudges we think we have the right to hold on to we can live in this kind of peace.
Today, think about the scars in your life that you are wondering why they won't heal. Ask yourself if they won't heal because you feel the need to hold on to them. I know that the healing of certain wounds in our lives takes time, but should that healing take forever? Should we let those wounds keep us from fully living in our present and dictate the promises of our future? Question whether or not you can see yourself living a different life if you will only let the scars heal. Could that life be better, a life where you are making a difference in the lives of others because you have overcome the scars of your past?
Scars can and will heal when we earnestly give them to God and believe that He will heal us. We have to choose to receive the healing. That choice is totally up to us. Just as Jesus asked the man at The Pool of Bethesda He is asking you: Do you want to be healed? Now, ask yourself that question. I hope you take the time to reflect on all the reasons you have been holding on to those scars and then make the choice to answer that question with a yes. When you give in to that yes, I promise you will see that the scars you thought wouldn't heal are no longer visible, are removed from your heart and have been replaced with only joy and peace.
Some may say that the scars we receive because of life's many battles build character and prove us to be strong, but it can also be said that the scars of life's battles make us cold, bitter, angry and unforgiving. The impact of the scars received lies totally up to the one who was wounded. When the scars of our past won't heal it's not because God won't heal them, it's solely because we won't let Him.